//////////////////
Govtech and Vilnius trip
20230510
What a weird fucking trip.
I started off on the wrong foot:
I came from a very intense Brussels experience
I was sick and barely had time to recover- I'm barely keeping up with my onboarding / assuming my full responsibilities so I didn't have time to plan and fully enjoy the event
Some learnings:
I need some buffer days to absorb trips/experiences. Part of the reason for traveling has to be processing it, if I don't do it, it might as well not have passed.
I need to recognize and respect my capabilities. I could do it, but should I? 20% Rob is not the person you want to have in a coz<xnference. Interacting with people drains me, I need time to recharge.
One of the interesting things was my attitude during the trip. I felt alone and was intensively looking for company. In reality, the "20% Rob" concept might be exposing the worst of me.
I need to think of ways to increase my self-awareness and agency, as way to:
Identify when I'm spiraling down (20% mode)
Assess what I need to do to recover (rest, exit a situation, ask for time?). I'll actually write about it. Done.
In short: don't be too hard on yourself, allow yourself to obsess and spiral seldomly, but try to negotiate your time and respect your needs.